Yes folks it's true. Your eyes are not deceiving you. Stacy Cowart is going to go an entire month without gossiping. Anyone that knows me is well aware that as much as I try to deny it, I love some good gossip. I'm going to say it's in my genes because my mom and my aunts are the queens of it. So you see, it isn't entirely my fault. I try to make an effort not to gossip, but I always get sucked in if I hear others doing it. It's hard when you're sitting in a restaurant with friends and they start a story about someone, everyone adding their two cents. You want to add yours in, you know it's wrong, but you can't help yourself. Before you know it, your two cents is five dollars. Any story that starts with "Girrrrl let me tell you....." is 99.99% of the time gossip territory. I'm guilty. I've chartered those waters many a time, and this is why I want to stop. It's not healthy. It's pointless. And let's be honest, it's just not nice. If I really want to "do better" this year I need to start out strong. Go hard or go home, right?
So you may be asking yourself what does giving up gossip entail? It's not just the words coming out of my mouth. I am not only curbing gossip from rolling off my tongue, I'm giving up gossip magazines. No more People, Life & Style, Us, etc. No more gossip blogs. I'm even going to give up The New York Daily News online because let's be honest it's 50% real news 50% gossip and I don't want to be tempted. And the one that may be the hardest yet, I'm giving up Facebook. Yes, Facebook too. I struggled with this one. The truth is, I like Facebook because it has helped me to reconnect with a lot of people. BUT (not just in caps but bold) a lot of times I'm on there trying to find out the latest scoop. For example, who's gone up/down in weight, who actually married the dork from high school, why someone's relationship status suddenly disappeared, who got a little too drunk and posted pictures, etc. When you break it down to the nuts and bolts, I'm on Facebook gossiping.
There it is. I will not gossip the entire month of January. I hope that it actually has a lasting effect. I'm not saying that I will never gossip again in my life, although that would be awesome if I could really do that. I just know gossiping is my bad habit and I'd like to curb it significantly if not all together. Cross your fingers for me and say a little prayer, this is going to be tough.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Doing better
Okay, it has been forever and a day since I've actually posted anything. The funny thing is that when i was actually blogging, I felt better. Since i haven't been writing, I've felt kind of blah.
Anywho, my New Year's resolution is going to be to "Do Better". I want to be a better Christian, daughter, sister, friend, coworker, blogger, etc. (Side note: Get with Jenny about how to add pictures to this thing) Whatever it is that I'm doing, I want to do it better in 2010 than I did in 2009. So going along with that theme, I've decided that every month in 2010, I want to give up something. I'm not looking at it as a form of punishment, but more like let's see what happens without it with the hopes of maybe not spending so much time with it in the future. That was a serious run on sentence but stay with me. For example, I watch way too much TV. I know this. I've said it over and over again, but it still doesn't curb my TV watching and having a DVR does not help... at all. So for one month I'm going to give up TV. Now it would be easy to do in January or the summer because most of my shows are on repeat at that time. But that would be cheating and it would defeat the purpose of the whole experiment. So I'm thinking February or March. Now I know that I will most likely not give up TV forever but at least not having it for a month will show me a lot of things I can do with my time besides staring mesmerized and the light in the corner. Know what I mean?
I have a couple of ideas for things to give up already but I'm going to keep it a secret until that month comes up. I figure it's a good way to keep me blogging. Although one of the things I was planning on giving up was the internet so it would be hard to do that and blog.... but we'll cross that bride when we get to it. So stay tuned.
Have a great one!
Anywho, my New Year's resolution is going to be to "Do Better". I want to be a better Christian, daughter, sister, friend, coworker, blogger, etc. (Side note: Get with Jenny about how to add pictures to this thing) Whatever it is that I'm doing, I want to do it better in 2010 than I did in 2009. So going along with that theme, I've decided that every month in 2010, I want to give up something. I'm not looking at it as a form of punishment, but more like let's see what happens without it with the hopes of maybe not spending so much time with it in the future. That was a serious run on sentence but stay with me. For example, I watch way too much TV. I know this. I've said it over and over again, but it still doesn't curb my TV watching and having a DVR does not help... at all. So for one month I'm going to give up TV. Now it would be easy to do in January or the summer because most of my shows are on repeat at that time. But that would be cheating and it would defeat the purpose of the whole experiment. So I'm thinking February or March. Now I know that I will most likely not give up TV forever but at least not having it for a month will show me a lot of things I can do with my time besides staring mesmerized and the light in the corner. Know what I mean?
I have a couple of ideas for things to give up already but I'm going to keep it a secret until that month comes up. I figure it's a good way to keep me blogging. Although one of the things I was planning on giving up was the internet so it would be hard to do that and blog.... but we'll cross that bride when we get to it. So stay tuned.
Have a great one!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I'mmm Baaaaack
Wow, it's been a little while since I've written anything. The past month and a half have been a little trying but through the grace of God, loving parents, and good friends I've made it through. It just seemed for a while that one problem led to another one and another one but it's ok because I'm still here and everything has worked out for the best.
Lately I've just been thinking back on what's gone on and it just kind of made me sad. I wasn't sad for myself, but really sad for someone that I had thought was my friend. I didn't do anything to this person but she felt the need to try to hurt me over and over again. I did feel hurt and pretty angry at first but I've come to realize that I'm not the problem. I didn't do anything. Now that things are kind of over I find myself really feeling sorry for her. I constantly keep her in my prayers. Sometimes I do get a little upset at myself for not seeing this person for who they were sooner. I just didn't want to believe that someone I called a best friend could be so malicious towards me. I don't understand it really but I guess it's not for me to understand. I'm just grateful to be out of the situation that I was in and still have my sanity.
Lately I've just been thinking back on what's gone on and it just kind of made me sad. I wasn't sad for myself, but really sad for someone that I had thought was my friend. I didn't do anything to this person but she felt the need to try to hurt me over and over again. I did feel hurt and pretty angry at first but I've come to realize that I'm not the problem. I didn't do anything. Now that things are kind of over I find myself really feeling sorry for her. I constantly keep her in my prayers. Sometimes I do get a little upset at myself for not seeing this person for who they were sooner. I just didn't want to believe that someone I called a best friend could be so malicious towards me. I don't understand it really but I guess it's not for me to understand. I'm just grateful to be out of the situation that I was in and still have my sanity.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I've Learned That...
On my way to work today I kept thinking of Proverbs 3:5-6 which says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I could not get the passage out of my head. I found myself saying "I trust you Lord", "I believe in you Lord" over and over again. I've just come to realize that it is true that He doesn't give us more than we can handle. God believes in me, and I should do the same. He never promised that we'd come out of the storm unscathed, just that we'd make it out. I believe that more right now than I ever have before.
That being said, I jotted some things down in my notebook two weeks ago that I've been wanting to post and kept forgetting about. This morning's "reflection" in my car served as a good reminder.
I've learned that...
...patience is really a virtue and I'm not that virtuous, but I sure try to be
...when you really love someone, it doesn't matter how much time has passed, you still get weak in the knees when they walk around shirtless (at least I do)
...it's okay to be guided by your heart
...sometimes you have to make decisions you don't want to, but in the end you're better for doing it
...when you choose to be happy and optimistic it changes every part of your life
...there are people in this world who will try to bring you down with them no matter how nice
you are to them and all you can do for them is pray
...the world will not come to an end if I spend my entire weekend on the couch, it just can't become a habit
...watching a child play and have fun is the ultimate cure for an emotional ailment
...when you don't take the hint, and feel the nudge that the Lord is trying to give you, he will kick you in the butt until you pay attention
That being said, I jotted some things down in my notebook two weeks ago that I've been wanting to post and kept forgetting about. This morning's "reflection" in my car served as a good reminder.
I've learned that...
...patience is really a virtue and I'm not that virtuous, but I sure try to be
...when you really love someone, it doesn't matter how much time has passed, you still get weak in the knees when they walk around shirtless (at least I do)
...it's okay to be guided by your heart
...sometimes you have to make decisions you don't want to, but in the end you're better for doing it
...when you choose to be happy and optimistic it changes every part of your life
...there are people in this world who will try to bring you down with them no matter how nice
you are to them and all you can do for them is pray
...the world will not come to an end if I spend my entire weekend on the couch, it just can't become a habit
...watching a child play and have fun is the ultimate cure for an emotional ailment
...when you don't take the hint, and feel the nudge that the Lord is trying to give you, he will kick you in the butt until you pay attention
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Today's Service
Today's church service was the first in a three part series about the lies society wants us to believe. I was really moved by the service and so I've decided to dedicate this post to it. Let me just put out there that Pastor Lafoon made it sound much better than I can sum up but you'll get the gist of it. I'm just going to post the highlights. Today he focused on lie #1 which is:
I am a helpless prisoner of my past.
He started by saying the only power that the devil has over us is the power we give him and that God has the power to rescue us from the pain of our past. He went on to say that we are not helpless but are held prisoner by how we have responded to our past. Many of the prisons we make have become darker because of how we respond to them. He said at the very essence of being set free and making our souls whole is to face our past.
Here are the 5 points he gave to do just that:
1. Refuse the seduction of denial
2. Renounce the lies that have been spoken over you as well as the ones you've spoken over yourself
3. Repent of making unforgiveness a stronghold in your life
4. Release the power of God by biblically releasing the pain from those who have hurt you
5. Renew your relationship with Christ because he is the truth that will set you free
This message really touched my heart today and it is my pleasure to share it. I'm really looking forward to next week and lie #2 which is: I'm broken beyond repair.
I am a helpless prisoner of my past.
He started by saying the only power that the devil has over us is the power we give him and that God has the power to rescue us from the pain of our past. He went on to say that we are not helpless but are held prisoner by how we have responded to our past. Many of the prisons we make have become darker because of how we respond to them. He said at the very essence of being set free and making our souls whole is to face our past.
Here are the 5 points he gave to do just that:
1. Refuse the seduction of denial
2. Renounce the lies that have been spoken over you as well as the ones you've spoken over yourself
3. Repent of making unforgiveness a stronghold in your life
4. Release the power of God by biblically releasing the pain from those who have hurt you
5. Renew your relationship with Christ because he is the truth that will set you free
This message really touched my heart today and it is my pleasure to share it. I'm really looking forward to next week and lie #2 which is: I'm broken beyond repair.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Stuck in the Middle
I have become of the the most indecisive people on the planet. I'm trying really hard to trust my feelings on things and to think for myself but it's really hard. I've allowed myself to rely on others to help me make decisions for so long that this solo thing is a little stressful. I want to just do everything my heart tells me to but it's so scary. And I've noticed that when I finally decide something, there's something else that comes up and makes me question my decision.
I pray about things all the time. Sometimes I ask God to show me a sign that I'm doing what is right. I know that's stupid but I just don't want to keep making the same mistakes. The thing is I've lied to myself so many times just so I can go with the popular opinion, just so my friends or family won't be mad at me. Even if that meant not doing what my heart wanted me to do. I'll come up with every reason in the book to back up my decision, knowing in my heart it's a choice I didn't want to make. And I've been consumed with what people thing for so long it's ridiculous. Especially in the end when I'm the one that has to deal with the consequences of that decision. When I'm in my apartment thinking about things that I've done, I'm alone. The naysayers aren't there. It's me and my box of Kleenex thinking, "What did I do?" or "Why did I do that?".
I've decided recently to follow my heart about something and it turned out to be a little too late. I put all my cards out on the table and basically said, I've been wrong.... A LOT and I'm sorry. It didn't work in my favor and to be honest, it's ok. I sort of expected that. I didn't expect it to hurt that bad, but I expected the outcome. So now I've just decided to let go and move on. In trying to do that though I keep getting put in these situations that are telling me that letting go is not the right thing to do. It's so hard because I'm completely clueless. I know what I want but I don't know if it's the right thing. I keep praying about it but I haven't gotten an answer yet, I think. I'm not even sure I would know if I had been given the answer already. I'm just so confused.
I pray about things all the time. Sometimes I ask God to show me a sign that I'm doing what is right. I know that's stupid but I just don't want to keep making the same mistakes. The thing is I've lied to myself so many times just so I can go with the popular opinion, just so my friends or family won't be mad at me. Even if that meant not doing what my heart wanted me to do. I'll come up with every reason in the book to back up my decision, knowing in my heart it's a choice I didn't want to make. And I've been consumed with what people thing for so long it's ridiculous. Especially in the end when I'm the one that has to deal with the consequences of that decision. When I'm in my apartment thinking about things that I've done, I'm alone. The naysayers aren't there. It's me and my box of Kleenex thinking, "What did I do?" or "Why did I do that?".
I've decided recently to follow my heart about something and it turned out to be a little too late. I put all my cards out on the table and basically said, I've been wrong.... A LOT and I'm sorry. It didn't work in my favor and to be honest, it's ok. I sort of expected that. I didn't expect it to hurt that bad, but I expected the outcome. So now I've just decided to let go and move on. In trying to do that though I keep getting put in these situations that are telling me that letting go is not the right thing to do. It's so hard because I'm completely clueless. I know what I want but I don't know if it's the right thing. I keep praying about it but I haven't gotten an answer yet, I think. I'm not even sure I would know if I had been given the answer already. I'm just so confused.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Reading Queen
So I've begun to notice that whenever I'm about to fly to New York I buy a new book. For Thanksgiving it was The Notebook and over Christmas it was Nights in Rodanthe. Yes, I'm a fan of Nicholas Sparks. I can't wait to see My Sister's Keeper in the movies so last week I picked up the book. Now usually, I'm slightly annoyed by a delayed flight, but I started the book and hardly noticed I had been sitting for 3 hours. I started on a Thursday and by Saturday night I was done. It is pretty amazing. I've had a rough couple of days but some of the passages in this book seemed like they were talking right to me. Kind of like I was meant to read them. Corny? Absolutely! Do I really care? Not so much :) FYI, I've completely forgotten how to properly quote from a book so bear with me. Here are my faves:
"There are some things we do because we convince ourselves it would be better for everyone involved. We tell ourselves that it's the right thing to do, the altruistic thing to do. It's far easier than telling ourselves the truth."
"We are a study of contrasts-hard to soft, fair to dark, frantic to smooth-and yet there is something about the fit of us that makes me realize neither of us would be quite right without the other. We are a Mobius strip, two continuous bodies, an impossible tangle."
"The earth's axis wobbles. Life isn't nearly as stable as we want it to be."
"You don't love someone because they're perfect....You love them in spite of the fact that they're not."
Since I had finished My Sister's Keeper while still in New York, I picked up Michael J. Fox's Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. Now I have loved Michael J. Fox since he played Alex P. Keaton. I read his other book and LOVED it so I figured I'd give his new one a shot. With the week I'd been having, I needed a little optimism. I just started it yesterday and I'm halfway done. I've found a couple little gems in it as well. He quotes other people a lot and one by Jim Hightower (no clue who he is) really made me laugh.
"Even a little dog can piss on a big building."
And another by Christopher Reeve states, "Don't give up, don't lose hope, don't sell out."
And this one by Michael J. Fox himself seems to be my favorite, "You suffer the blow, but you capitalize on the opportunity left open in its wake."
I've read all of these at just the right time that I needed to. I know there are no coincidences with the Lord. He knew what i was needing to hear. I share them with you in the hopes that if you need them, here they are, and if not, you know where to find them for future reference.
"There are some things we do because we convince ourselves it would be better for everyone involved. We tell ourselves that it's the right thing to do, the altruistic thing to do. It's far easier than telling ourselves the truth."
"We are a study of contrasts-hard to soft, fair to dark, frantic to smooth-and yet there is something about the fit of us that makes me realize neither of us would be quite right without the other. We are a Mobius strip, two continuous bodies, an impossible tangle."
"The earth's axis wobbles. Life isn't nearly as stable as we want it to be."
"You don't love someone because they're perfect....You love them in spite of the fact that they're not."
Since I had finished My Sister's Keeper while still in New York, I picked up Michael J. Fox's Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. Now I have loved Michael J. Fox since he played Alex P. Keaton. I read his other book and LOVED it so I figured I'd give his new one a shot. With the week I'd been having, I needed a little optimism. I just started it yesterday and I'm halfway done. I've found a couple little gems in it as well. He quotes other people a lot and one by Jim Hightower (no clue who he is) really made me laugh.
"Even a little dog can piss on a big building."
And another by Christopher Reeve states, "Don't give up, don't lose hope, don't sell out."
And this one by Michael J. Fox himself seems to be my favorite, "You suffer the blow, but you capitalize on the opportunity left open in its wake."
I've read all of these at just the right time that I needed to. I know there are no coincidences with the Lord. He knew what i was needing to hear. I share them with you in the hopes that if you need them, here they are, and if not, you know where to find them for future reference.
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